Relationship Reflection

"Human relationships, and the effects of relationships on relationships,
are the building blocks of healthy development"
(Shonkoff & Phillips, 2000, p. 4)

Relationships are truly the center of who we are.  It is through relationships that we learn about the world, develop our aspirations, and discover ourselves.  They allow us both an infinite window into worlds unknown, as well as the deep comforts of familiarity.  To me, it is in relationship that I am reminded of the things I care the most about, the person I want to embody, and the world I hope to contribute to.  Without the people that surround me, I lack any significance.

My sisters and I - Ages 8 and 4

One of the most important relationships in my life, and certainly my most transformative relationship, is the one I have with each of my sisters.  They are twins, three and a half years younger than me, and while my relationship with each of them looks completely different, I've chosen to talk about them as a unit.  The relationship between the three of us is best understood as a triad - we have spent twenty one years learning from each other, holding each other up when things were difficult, and encouraging one another to constantly reach new frontiers in our personal, academic, and professional lives.  We work hard to maintain our relationships - living thousands of miles apart, we communicate often, spend time together when we can, but most importantly, we try to practice grace in all of our interactions with each other.

My husband and I, 2013

Easily the most prominent relationship in my life is my relationship with my husband.  We have been married for two and a half years, and before that, dated long distance for two years while attending college in North Carolina and California.  Our relationship, above all else, has taught me the value of prioritizing.  We have learned that we have to constantly structure our lives in a way that values our relationship above others, sets aside time, energy, and resources to share with one another, and that we constantly affirm and uplift each other.  The relationship is absolutely a partnership.  We live our lives such that our work, our hobbies, and our schoolwork maintain balance with one another.  When I have a crazy week, my husband picks up the pieces.  When he has a crazy week, I take as much as I can off of his plate and onto mine.  We communicate constantly in order for the partnership to flourish.

My sweet Kaiden and I, Christmas 2013

The third relationship I thought I would mention is completely different from the first two, and yet a lot of the principles remain the same.  This is my nephew, Kaiden.  He is now three and a half.  When he was born, I lived only fifteen minutes away and had the amazing opportunity to care for him 20 hours a week while his mom worked.  Our bond in that first year of his life was incredible.  When he turned one, my husband and I moved to Nashville, and Kaiden and my relationship has changed dramatically, but again, a lot of the principles remain the same.  He has the sweetest, most giving heart and absolutely loves having us in town for visits.  He holds no grudge for the infrequency of time we spend with him.  On my end, I just have to chose to be very intentional about the way we continue to care for him.  For example, he burned his arm over Labor Day weekend, and while I would have loved to come over and brought a special treat for him, instead I sent a superhero cape to match his superhero bandage.  We talk frequently and send pictures back and forth.  The most important thing is that he knows his aunt loves him very much and will always look out for him.  The ways I show that have just changed over the years.

Each of our experiences in relationships contributes to our work in early childhood education.  First of all, our personal relationships contribute to the biases we bring with us to work every day.  Second, they contribute to our attitude, energy level, and vulnerability, whether we would like them to or not.  And finally, they give us a working baseline - either positive or negative - from which we will naturally model our relationships after.  Having positive, encouraging, energizing relationships will allow us the ability to create and maintain further positive relationships with our children and our families.

Thanks for reading!

Amy