Saturday, November 15, 2014

Personal Childhood Web

Classmates and friends,
This week has actually been really hard for me.  Isn't it funny how sometimes things that are totally unrelated line up in crazy ways?  This week, we have spent a lot of time reading about the role of the family in growing up young children.  Well, coincidentally in a week where I couldn't avoid reflecting on family, my own family had to face some big changes.  I am so sad to write that my grandmother Margaret passed away this Tuesday.  She was 96 and passed away peacefully, but I don't know that that makes it any easier.  This week has been kind of crazy bumpy for me, thinking about important relationships in my life and reflecting constantly in her role in raising my wonderful father and his sisters, as well as her incredible role as grandmother to me, my sisters, and my many cousins.  Before I can even fathom building my personal childhood web, I need to honor memory and her beautiful role in my own childhood.
My Grandma Margaret and my dad (1950)


My beautiful grandmother, at 94, was able to travel from California to Colorado to attend my wedding.  I was so incredibly honored that after years of being unable to travel, she was able and willing to make the trip.  My grandma brought up my father and three wonderful daughters, who have then raised her eight grandchildren, who have already brought her five sweet great grandchildren.  She has loved each of us so generously and selflessly.  Her legacy is a wonderfully close and loving family.  These people mean the world to me.
(March 2013)
My grandmother was a true matriarch in our family.  She was the centerpiece of all family gatherings.  She was the first person you said hello to when you arrived and the last person you kissed goodbye as you left.  She had a genuine desire to know the lives of each of her grandchildren, and while she always complained about the noise, she loved that her home was full of the bustle of great grandchildren.  Even living three states away as a young child, we knew that we were dear to her from the phone calls and cards so she reliably sent, always covered in the gold hallmark stickers.  Some of my favorite grandmother memories are from our family trips to Disneyland.  While she never enjoyed the rides, she was right there beside us to hold our bags while we waited in line, to save our spots at the parade, and to keep us company if a ride was too big or too scary.  She also shared my taste in food.  When the family would go out to a restaurant that she and I didn't care for, they'd drop the two of us off at Outback Steakhouse for our own special meal.  Her example of a hard working mother who provided for her family at all costs and raised the most beautiful, close knit family will forever influence me.

I'm so sorry to make you read more than you already have to.  I just needed to start there.


For the rest of my personal childhood web, I've chosen to additionally describe my twin sisters (they are twins with each other, not me), my dad, and a neighbor and mother of a childhood friend.

This is a photo of me with my two younger sisters, Holly and Lexi.  They are twins, born three and a half years behind me.  I can attribute so much of who I am today to my relationship with them.  As a child, they taught me to be a caretaker, a helper, a leader, and a teacher.  My personality now as the responsible planner of the family, I attribute in whole to they way I learned to herd and guide them as a big sister.  They were there for me at every soccer game, every award ceremony, and every capstone moment.  They are always have been and always will be my biggest cheerleaders and my favorite confidants.  The way they looked up to me when we were young pushed me to be the smartest, quickest, and most helpful in everything that I did and for that I am forever grateful. Still today I strive to set a good example for them, teach them how to live life to its fullest, and be open to learning new things.  I'm sure that I've learned more from them than they ever could learn from me.

If you haven't already gotten the gist, my daddy is absolutely the best.  Here's one of the many ways I know he loves me deeply. When I was an infant, he set up one of those old, huge video cameras that he borrowed from his work on a tripod in our kitchen so that he could take a home video of the first time he gave me a bath.  He then made copies of that video and sent it to my Grandma Margaret (his mother).  While today, it might be common place to video such a moment and post it all over facebook, in 1989, that took planning, patience, and an incredible amount of excitement and love

My favorite memories of my childhood are of Saturday morning cartoons and pancakes with dad, soccer practice with dad, or take your daughter to work days with dad.  Everything I did, he cared about 100%.  For example, when I sold Girl Scout cookies, my daddy would make spreadsheets of neighborhood streets and office building floors to keep track year to year of who bought cookies and how we could improve my sales.  He has always wanted me to succeed.

 My dad has taught me to always try new things, to be open to the curveballs of life, and to be a lifelong learner.  His example has shown me how to work hard while balancing the fullness of life that a family brings.  He has shown me how to deal with adversity and come out happier than ever.  More than anything, my daddy has given me confidence in who I am today and who I want to be in the future.  He has taught me to be proud of myself just like he is proud of me.  He is the best daddy a girl could ask for.

This photo is one of my favorites from my wedding.  On the left is my beautiful mother, and the three women to the right are very close family friends.  These women were my "village."  They loved and supported me unconditionally like a second, third, and fourth mother.  In fact, at one point in middle school, my family was faced with the possibility of moving because of my dad's job, but my mother refused because she recognized how important these three women were in the lives of me and my sisters.

Cheryl, the woman on the far left, was a neighbor and a friend of my closest childhood friend (and first real 'crush').  When I spent time at her house, she always made sure to have something special for me.  You see, she had a son my age and a son my sisters' age, but no daughter.  So she had a stockpile of dolls, Sailor Moon wands, and art kits that she kept special for her 'daughter from down the street'.  Keeping up with her boys challenged me to be tough and outgoing, but coming back into her house was always a safe, comfortable place for me.  She has remained close with my family, continues to take great care of my mom, and threw me a beautiful bridal shower before I got married and moved.  She taught me how to hold my own in a room full of boys and for that I am grateful!

You have now read far too much about my childhood and for that I am so very sorry.  I hope to be less emotional, nostalgic, and crazy minded by next week.  I would, however, sure appreciate thoughts and prayers for my dad and his sisters this week and as we move into the holidays.

Thanks for getting to know me.

Amy

3 comments:

  1. Amy,

    My deepest condolences to you and your family. The one thing I must say is after I read the rest of your personal web I felt you were more stronger and prepared than you probably know. It is everything that Brenner talks about in developing a child was being executed right before you. The ability to be open to curve balls that your father taught you and the strong support system of women was all part of preparing you developmentally to sustain storms. In addition; the ability to play with the boys and be tough made you tough but thoughtful. It is truly amazing to see what wealth of richness your family has added to you. So even though you are going through at this time please know that you have already been prepared developmentally for this time and everyone in your family has played a great role in making you the strong woman you are.

    Amy here is the answer to the riddle my father told me. When we are younger we ask a lot of questions Why this or that and there are somethings that no matter how much our parents explain we will never understand until we get old enough and gain some of these same experiences for ourselves.

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  2. Amy,
    I am so very sorry for your loss. I know that it is extremely tough to lose such a wonderful family member. But I will say that after reading your post, it is very apparent that you have a fabulous support system behind you and that made you the person you are today. I think its great that you not only included you family, but that you included family friends as well. It just shows that relationships outside of our family shape us as well.

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  3. Amy,
    I am very sorry for your loss she sounded like she was an amazing person. I to had a grandmother pass in August. You have an amazing support system behind you. I believe everyone around you can shape us not only family but friends, teachers, and I am sure many more.

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